MPAA Fights Back Against On-Line Piracy with Summer of Crappy Movies.

Hollywood, CA (BFBE): Befuddled by the ever increasing numbers of file sharers
on the Internet downloading the latest movie industry releases,
Hollywood insiders have announced a new tactic to fight this trend.


According to Mel Hexenbacker of the MPAA, "The answer is REMAKES. Let
me say it again; remakes, remakes, remakes. We have learned that we
can take a timeless classic, and really screw it up. Take everything
out of it that made it good and replace it with an infernal morass of
computer generated graphics, lifeless one dimensional characters, bad
acting, and uninspired writing.


"We've been doing this for a few years now, just look at how we ruined
"The Day the Earth Stood Still" for all future generations. That flick
was so bad, not only will nobody in their right mind download it,
people will stop downloading the original classic because it might
cause a flashback of Keanu Reeves turning this classic into a lifeless
"Matrix 7." However, after buggering "The Hills Have Eyes," we began
to realize that we were running out of good movies to ruin, so now for
2009, we are going to start RE-ruining movies that were not good in the
first place.

"Just look at what we have in store for the Summer, remakes of "The
Black Lagoon," "Frankenweenie," "Piranha," and "Red Sonja." Ha! Ha!
Ha! Once this crap gets out there The Pirate Bay and Mininova will be
toast! Waaa!!! Ha!!! Ha!!!"